Speaker 1: 0:04

Are you ready to break free from hesitation, self-doubt and isolation? Do you want to lead with confidence, build powerful connections and live boldly? I'm Cory Baum and I'm here to share the most impactful strategies and mindsets that I've learned through coaching, leadership and real-world experience. Together, we'll forge unshakable confidence, master social dynamics and create a life rooted in purpose, brotherhood and bold action. Inside, you'll get the tools and insights to become the strongest, most connected version of yourself. Let's dive in. What's up, man? Today we're talking about something that I've felt more times than I can count, especially when I'm coaching or leading with my giant, you know, white easel and my markers in hand, looking around the room full of guys and thinking like who, who am I to be standing up here? I had this loop running in my head right Like I'm still figuring this out. I've got so much of my own life that I'm still working on. I've still got habits that I'm working on, blind spots that I haven't uncovered, habits that I'm working on blind spots that I haven't uncovered, challenges that I haven't fully overcome. Am I even doing this right? Did I prepare enough, do I know enough to lead this group? And it didn't just happen there.

Speaker 1: 1:37

Right Before that, I was leading another group called Confident Social Skills, which was another meetup, and I felt the exact same thing. It was like this little voice inside of me saying, like dude, what are you, what are you doing? Like you don't have all of this perfected. Who are you to be teaching this? Who are you to be up here? And that's, that's the thing. That's self-doubt and imposter syndrome right there. And they don't. The thing is that they don't wait until you've failed to actually show up. They're right there, even even when you're in the middle of something, when you're building something, when you're working on it, right even when other people are showing up because they believe in the value that you're offering. It's like that inner critic can't resist jumping in and questioning whether you deserve to be there or your right to even be in the room. So what I've learned is that it's not about having everything figured out, not about having all of the experience and all of the answers. It's about being the perfect example of the thing that you're leading. It's about showing up while you're still growing, while you're still learning and letting that part, letting that be part of the leadership, because the truth is, if you wait until you have no doubt, then you'll be waiting forever.

Speaker 1: 3:08

So today's episode is about self-doubt and imposter syndrome, two forces that can quietly run your entire life if you don't learn how to face them. They can make you question your value, second guess your decisions and make you play smaller than you need to, even when you're totally capable of more. So most men think that the goal is to get rid of self-doubt, like one day they'll wake up and feel 100% ready, right, and then they'll start leading. Then they'll start speaking up or going after what it is that they want. But that day never comes, because self-doubt doesn't disappear with more success. It often grows with it. The more that you step into new territory, the louder that that voice can get. So here's the shift. It's not about waiting until you feel ready to do something. It's about learning how to actually lead yourself in the presence of doubt, because the cost of not doing that is huge. Right, there's missed opportunities, stalled growth, right, and living a life that feels like you're constantly holding back.

Speaker 1: 4:31

So in this episode today, we're going to break this open. We're going to talk about why self-doubt and imposter syndrome show up even when you're doing well, right, how to separate the voice of the inner critic from reality. We're going to talk about some practical ways to reframe and move forward, regardless of how it is that you're feeling and how action especially imperfect action is the fastest way to quiet that inner voice. Action is the fastest way to quiet that inner voice, because the man that you're becoming isn't built by avoiding doubt. He's built by moving forward in spite of it. So the first thing we're going to talk about is that self-doubt is actually a sign that you're growing. Self-doubt isn't proof that you're failing. It's proof that you're actually stepping into something new.

Speaker 1: 5:31

When you launch the group, when you start the project or you take the lead in a meeting, you're operating outside of your comfort zone. So, of course, your brain scrambles for certainty. Right, it starts whispering like dude, you're not. You're not ready for this. Right, you're not the right guy for this. There's there's definitely someone that could be doing this better. Right? And if you see self-doubt as a stop sign, then you'll pull back out every time that you're about to level up. If you see it as a green light, though, as evidence that you're expanding, then you can start to expect it and even welcome it. Right, doubt is a growth indicator, not a danger signal, right, it's something that is showing you like, hey, I'm stepping into a place that is exciting that it's leveling up. Right, it's not something that's saying, beware, you know, we shouldn't be doing this. That warning, so.

Speaker 1: 6:45

So imposter syndrome, as we're talking about, works because it feels true. It borrows details from your real insecurities and it mixes them in with past mistakes and it presents them like these undeniable facts, like it's the truth, and most of the time, it's really just an untrained inner critic that's running the show. And this shows up in a lot of different places. Right, if you focus on the 5% you don't know instead of the 95% that you do, right, you can compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel, right? I mean, this comes up a lot of course in social media and such. I mean all that you see from something that somebody posts is like this this perfect picture. Right, everything looks curated. You know they've studied it a thousand times, but you don't see all of the things that went into making that post, into making that course or whatever it might be. So another way is that is is mistaking that being a work in progress for being unqualified. Right, that just because you're working at it doesn't mean that you're not qualified to speak about it.

Speaker 1: 8:13

So one of the tools that I use for this is what I call the three-column check-in. Right, and what you would do is, in the first column, to actually write the self-doubt out, right, whatever that might be. Maybe it's like I don't deserve to lead this group out out, right, whatever that might be. Maybe it's like I don't deserve to lead this group. Now, in the second column, you're going to list the evidence against it, right? So maybe it's that you know what I've? I've created a space that men want to show up for, week after week and then, in the third column, create, write a reframe for it, right? So something like I'm leaning and learning at the same time, and that's part of my strength, because the thing thing is with this is that the more that you write this out, right, if you, if you write out what the self-doubt is, you write out the evidence, right, and writing out what the reframe is like, you only do this so many times before you start to really realize for yourself that that it's not actually true. Right, listing out more of the, the evidence against it, right, that people are showing up, people are enjoying it, that I'm getting really good feedback, that that you start to gather evidence for why it's not true.

Speaker 1: 9:31

So here's the thing your inner critic isn't your identity, right? It's not who you are, it's just your history talking right. It's just as my mentor would say it's just your safety police. Your inner critic would say it's just your safety police, your inner critic. So the trap that most men fall into is waiting until they feel ready before they actually lead. Right, they think that leadership is like a reward for mastery, but in reality, leadership is built through the act of showing up and making mistakes and adjusting as you go, because if you wait to feel ready, you'll never start. And the men who look the most confident most of them are still figuring it out too. They've just learned to act in alignment with their values, even when the doubt is screaming loudly.

Speaker 1: 10:31

You don't have to be the perfect man to lead. You have to be the one willing to go to do it All right, so you can't outthink self-doubt. No amount of over-preparing or mentally rehearsing will make you feel certain before you act. Certainty comes as a result of taking action. So here's some tools to move forward the next time this shows up for you. The first one is the five-second rule, and it's really just as simple as this counting down from five and act before your brain has an opportunity to talk you out of it. So if you've got something you know, a moment, like hey, you know, I want to go over there and talk to that person, five, four, three, two, one. Go and do it. Right, because that time in between there, the longer that gets, the less likely it is that you're actually going to go over there and do that. So the second tool is to act as if. Right, and it's showing up as the man that you want to be not the one necessarily that you feel like the moment in the moment, the one that you feel like today, right, so act as if you're that person or that man that goes and does those things. Right, we've written out who it is, that we want to be, right, we've given that some consideration now. So walk around and act as if you're that person. And so the third thing is stacking small wins right.

Speaker 1: 12:11

A lot of times I feel like people have this all or nothing sort of mentality that they either have to be out there like crushing the biggest goals and doing these things, otherwise it doesn't matter, right, but the reality is that it's stacking these small, consistent actions that really prove to yourself that I can do this, I can be trusted, that I'm worthy of this title, of this position. So confidence isn't a prerequisite. You don't have to have confidence to step into this part of your life. You don't have to have confidence to step into this part of your life. It's actually a byproduct or comes as a result of you taking the action.

Speaker 1: 12:56

So here's a few questions that I want you to sit with this week. You don't need to answer them all at once. I want you to just pick one or two that hit hardest. I want you to give them some space, whether you journal them, take a voice note or you carry them with you throughout the week just thinking about them. So the first question is this where in your life are you currently holding back because you don't feel ready, are qualified?

Speaker 1: 13:29

The next question is what's one recent win or success I've dismissed as luck instead of owning my role in creating it? The next question is when my inner critic speaks, whose voice does it sound like? The next question is when, when my inner critic speaks, whose voice does it sound like? Where do I where? Where do you think that it came from? Right, was it your, your parents or your family or the kids at school? Like who does that sound like?

Speaker 1: 14:05

And so the next question is what would leading while you're still learning look like for you? What would leading like you're still learning look like for you? And the last question is if you acted as if you already belonged in the room, what would you do differently today? What would you do differently today, right, if you showed up, what would that look and feel like? If you showed up to that event, to that meeting, and you stepped into it like you owned it, how would that? How would you show up differently?

Speaker 1: 14:41

And you might be surprised how much clarity these questions give you, not because they erase self-doubt, but because they help you see it for what it is. It's a sign that you're in the right place, that you're doing the right work. So let's flip the script on self-doubt a little bit. It's not the enemy, it's the evidence. It means that you're playing a bigger game that your comfort zone can handle. So the man who waits to feel completely ready before he leads will wait his entire life, but the man who's willing to lead while he's still learning. He builds trust in himself faster than anyone else.

Speaker 1: 15:27

So here's your challenge this week. I want you to pick one situation where you've been holding back because you didn't feel enough. It could be speaking up in a meeting, leading a conversation, taking the first step on a project, or maybe like making an ask that you've been avoiding. I want you to step into it without waiting for permission and when that self-doubt hits, say this to yourself this is what growth feels like. I belong here. You don't have to silence the self-doubt. It's not about killing that inner critic. You just have to prove to yourself that it's not the one who's in charge. All right, guys.

Speaker 1: 16:16

So if this episode hit home, if you've been holding back because of self-doubt or imposter syndrome, again, this is the work that I do every day with men who are ready to step into leadership while they're still growing. You don't have to wait until you feel ready. You just have to start. If you want a space where you can get clear on your next steps, you can challenge the voice of your inner critic and take action with support. Book a free discovery call with me at wwwevolvedmenprojectcom. No pressure, just a real conversation about where you are where you want to go and how to get there. And if this episode spoke to you, share it with someone who needs to hear it. Follow the show, leave a five-star review and help us get this message into the hands of more men who are ready to lead themselves with purpose. Here's what I want you to take with you today.

Speaker 1: 17:14

The self-doubt doesn't mean that you're in the wrong place. It means that you're in the exact place where growth happens. Every man that you admire has felt like an imposter at some point, and most of them still do. The difference is that they didn't let that feeling make their decisions for them. You don't have to wait to feel worthy to start leading. You lead by showing up while the doubt is still there and proving over and over again that you belong in the room. So this week, remember that you're not an imposter. You're a man in the making on purpose, intentionally.

Speaker 1: 18:01

Thanks for listening to the Evolve Men podcast. Lead boldly, act like you feel ready, all right, and I'll see you next time. Thanks for tuning in to this episode of the Evolve Men podcast. If today's episode challenged you, inspired you or gave you something to think about, don't stop here. Keep building, keep evolving, head over to wwwevolvemenprojectcom, where you'll find free resources on confidence, leadership, relationships, communication and personal power Everything you need to start applying what you've learned here and take your growth to the next level. The tools are there. The next move is yours. Until the next time, men, stay strong, lead powerfully and live boldly. Thank you.